Single NOT Lonely

Why is it that when you tell someone that you’re single they immediately assume that you’re lonely? Being single doesn’t automatically mean you are lonely. Perhaps we have become conditioned to think like that since in our society most of the people that seem happy are usually those in relationships. Perhaps people forgot the meaning of the word lonely or the feeling of being lonely or perhaps it’s being single they lost the meaning of.

I could be in a room filled with a million people or with friends and still feel lonely and miserable. Now how did that equate to being single? Well your guess is as good as mine. Being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely either.

We are born alone except if you are a twin, so at the end of the day we are alone. At one point or another you will be alone, it’s bound to happen. Loneliness is more of a feeling than a physical state. Being lonely is probably one of the worst feelings one could probably have.

Being single gives you time to truly understand yourself, so how can that be interpreted as lonely? Being single gives you time and space to do all the things you can’t do in a relationship, that sounds a bit promiscuous I know but isn’t that what being single is about? Being single is figured out what makes you tick and what you prefer. Being single is all about having fun without all the drama, the worrying and all the other things that come with a relationship including the possibility of being heartbroken.

Being single sounds fun so far, doesn’t it? So how can all of that be interpreted as loneliness? Yes being single is not the most popular thing on the planet because some people stay in relationships because it’s comfortable or because they scared of being single.

I’d rather be single than be unhappy. So I’m single and not lonely.



3 thoughts on “Single NOT Lonely

  1. Your post resonates with me. When I was single the unending line of questioning I faced revolved around whether I was dating anyone, was I looking to date anyone, would I like to be set up with someone, and on and on. In a way, I was being conditioned to think that my state of ‘singleness’ was problematic and something to be discontent with. Eventually, I realized this was other people’s wants and expectations and outdated perceptions being projected onto me, and I was accountable for how I interpreted and applied them in my day to day life. Instead of feeling like there was something ‘wrong’ with me or that being single was a ‘state’ I needed to escape, I instead embraced it. And during that period, was more productive and introspective and self-aware than any other. It was a wonderfully valuable and insightful time. That isn’t to say others can’t accomplish these things to the same extent while in a relationship, but it an observation based on my own, subjective experience. Thank you for articulating this feeling so well. I really enjoyed your post and look forward to checking out more!

    Liked by 1 person

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