Focused Again

Focused

I started this blog about 4 years ago because I was bored and because I was aspiring to be a writer of some sorts. Unfortunately I never had the motivation to publish something and I never knew what about either. Recently I figured that I still want to write and so I decided to find this blog, dig up some motivation and actually post something.

For a very long time I felt lost, lonely, sad and depressed. I lacked focus to do anything, including living. I even had suicidal thoughts and I felt as though I was owed something by someone. Thought I would get some kind of miracle to get out of that depressed phase because I didn’t want to isolate myself anymore. What I didn’t realize was that all the feelings I had, no matter how life-threatening they were, they brought back the spark in me.

My focus has been rejuvenated and I feel better than I have in months. The one thing that helped me get my focus back was the fact that I was tired of pretending that I was okay, that everything was fine when it wasn’t. I wanted to have a genuine smile again and to laugh, not to laugh because I wanted people to stop asking if I was ok or not, but because I genuinely wanted to laugh. I missed being happy so instead of waiting for a miracle that would never come I decided to make one for myself. I chose to be happy, I searched for what makes me happy. I didn’t have to go far because I realized that I was loved. Loved by my friends, by my family so I found my focus again and as a result I started writing again.

So if you are reading this it means I survived my depression, loneliness and sadness and found my spark again. If you are reading this then it means that I found the motivation to write something and actually post it. If you are reading this then it means that I am focused again.

Hope this was an enjoyable read.